Status Update, Goals for May

So I have been failing to complete challenges...

Never finished the Oprah meditation challenge, and free access has disappeared.  I liked the Oprah & Deepak insights at the beginning of each day's meditation-- I was even moved to tears by a few of them.  In the end though, I don't really enjoy them because they are really not guided meditations which I feel like I need at this stage in my meditation journey-- otherwise I am just listening to soft music for fifteen minutes while thinking about boys.  I have a lot of resistance surrounding meditation, so I know it's something I need to try to get into, but I have other challenges set up

Did not get to 40Bagsin40days before the end of lent, but I think I will continue with this challenge at my own pace.  I know that I got rid of some things in the last month without counting them-- but too bad, so sad.  I shall power on.

FMSphotoaday is going swimmingly (see my instagram feed/link).  I caught up on a bunch that I had missed this weekend.  I want to start a shutterfly book of my photos to publish at the end of the year-- wouldn't it be great to have yearbooks again?  But it needs to be put together throughout the year or it will never happen.

I did not post about it, but April was National Poetry Month.  I challenged myself to write a poem a day, and I didn't make it every day, but I wrote more than I had probably all last year.  Now this month the challenge is to work those scribblings into finished products and to submit those for publication.  I just sent one in to The Hal Prize -- this month I challenge myself to submit one per week.

Quitting smoking had been going great up until last week when I drank a bottle of wine and walked my chubby ass down to the gas station and bought a pack.  Took me all week to smoke them, tried to throw them away but didn't take the bag out, so ended up digging them out.  Bought another pack on Saturday.  Why?  Why, why?  Because I felt cocky and confident after a month or two?  Because I haven't been checking in with the work nurse?  Because this neighbor situation is stressing me out and I've been spending more time in the office to avoid the TV noise and the anger/stress that comes along with it and the office has historically been my smoking parlor?  I need to get back on the wagon.

I also need to get back on my Weight Watchers bandwagon.  I've missed two meetings now, I'm having trouble with the timing.  It's kind of a stretch to get to one of the meetings by 5:30 when I work until five--and the one I did make it to was extremely crowded.  The Saturday morning one is more laid back, but then there's getting up on Saturday mornings which can be rough.  I had one week where I lost three pounds. And then I gained them back the next week.  Why can't I just be consistent?  As I am writing down my monthly priorities in my little planner, I just crossed off "lose ten pounds" and replaced it with "Track."  Let's start with the action instead of the result.

Okay May:  ready, set, go!

Shedding the Weight Meditation Day 3

Day Three

Centering Thought:  As my emotions flow freely, my life is lightened.

Sanskirt Mantra:  Om Shanti Om (I radiate peace)

I cried at the beginning of this meditation when Deepak was talking about feeling emotions and letting them out.  But not too much, just a little.

Shedding the Weight Meditation Day 2

Centering Thought:  I am endlessly renewed in the present moment.

Sanskrit Mantra:  Om Svayam Agurutva  (Lightness is my true self.)

#OprahChopra 21 Day Meditation Challenge: Shedding the Weight

Day One

Centering Thought:  My struggle has ended.  I am in harmony with myself.

Sanskirt Mantra:  Om Laghu Bhavam (I am lightness itself.)

Message of the day:  "Lightness and weightiness... are both choices in life." -- Erik Pevernagie

"Today we discover that we don't have to struggle to shed our burdens -- all we need to do is expand our awareness.  In that awareness we find the inner fulfullment that is our true self.  This state of expanded awareness is the lightness in your life, and allows you to effortlessly let go of heaviness that doesn't serve you."


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I did this in my car at lunch and dozed a little bit.  I can't focus on my breath my mind wanders but the 15 or so minutes of actual mediation go by very quickly.  I do have a lot of heaviness in my life, I feel very burdened lately.  Everything feels so urgent.  And mad.  And sad.